Raehl family rules (general post)

My wife and I have been married nearly 30 years (as of February 2006). I work with people whose standard question is "Is Jerrie Lyn your second or third wife?" I tell them she is my first wife, and we have been newlyweds for nearly 30 years. Ask again in a million years. That million is a real answer. We were sealed in the Provo LDS temple for eternity. That's forever. Death does not affect our marriage at all.

There are so many resources available to make a happy marriage. Brigham Young University has an excellent marriage class student manual, based on the LDS "Proclamation On The Family". Find that at www.lds.org.

One way to ensure a happy marriage is sensible rules. Try these:

Go to church on Sundays. Read the scriptures (especially the Book Of Mormon, which has a promise of family harmony when read regularly) together and pray together.

Pay your tithing to the Lord. Every paycheck and every incoming gift.

Say "I love you" 25-zillion times a day. None of this once a day nonsense.

Give the wife hot-stuff looks all day, and smile at her constantly.

Kid around a lot.

Thank your wife for every little thing. Think. If you weren't married, you would be doing all that stuff.

Hold hands when you are out walking around. Give the appearance of newlyweds. Based on a billion-year marriage, all of mortal life is just a few seconds of marriage.

Chivalry is alive. Open doors for the wife. The children have picked that up. Our then-2-year-old son opened an aviary gate door for two ladies at the San Diego wild animal park one day.

I am not allowed to leave the house without kissing my wife.

Loud words are not heard where we live. No yelling. No 4-letter words. If you ever hear a 4-letter word from us, you know something is seriously wrong.

I cannot step into a grocery store without my wife.

I cannot leave the state without my wife. She enjoys going places as much as I do.

No fighting. We talk things over, and agree. Sometimes she bends, sometimes I bend. We have very long patience, knowing we are both are headed for being perfect people someday.

Surprise her now and then. The best story is the day just before New Year's when I packed her luggage in the middle of the night, and loaded it into the van. Got her up the next morning for a ride. She was clueless. We headed for Salt Lake. Maybe a nice weekend at a hotel together. We parked the van at the airport. Oh, maybe a flight to California. Even better. The ticket counter girl gave away the surprise. She said, "Is Honolulu your final destination, or are you going to another island?" My wife's eyes were big as saucers. I'd even packed her new swimsuit without her knowledge.

My scheduling rule: If you don't tell me your schedule, and I make an appointment that conflicts with your schedule, you had better be prepared to see your schedule blown apart. If you ask for something based on a schedule that I don't know about, I have the right to laugh at you. Rule subject to exceptions, of course.

Everything is subject to exceptions.

Chrismas is sacred. Not to be messed with. Likewise with birthdays.

Don't look around at the opposite-sex scenery. Keep your conversations with other opposite-sex people to the business at hand, then move on.

Don't demand the unreasonable. Keep the demands down to reasonable expectations.